i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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