Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
