sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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