I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
