But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
