So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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