How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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