My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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