I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
try to milk me bitch
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
