Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.

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(631): View more from New York

this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed

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(718): View more from New York

Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

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(804): View more from Virginia

she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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(916): View more from California

Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.

(1-916): View more from California

Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.

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