Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
