bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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