omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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