i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
