i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize