whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
