That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
