i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
