is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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