The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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