new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This couple is walking their pig around campus
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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