It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
