I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she peed on how many people?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
