you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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