This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
