I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
