O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
