Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
