The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
