His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
