its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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