I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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