I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
