What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish I only lived at night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
