His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
