Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize