This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
