I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
