Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
