i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
