That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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