Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
