We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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