I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
