My room smells like vodka and shame
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
