just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
