Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize