Whoa Z and x make the same sound
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I believe in your delicious
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
