...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We got so high we made milksteak
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
