Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize