i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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