You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
