google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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