what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just high enough for therapy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
