this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
