u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
