I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
