I haven't been this sober since birth.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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