was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
