well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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