dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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