TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
