dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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